Humor – Lost – Resilience
My heart ached as my secretary shared that Dalton and Laurie’s mom passed away on Good Friday. I just talked to her a few days ago. Death has a way of bringing back emotions from previous experiences. My sorrow was compounded by the fact that for the second time in my career students found their mom dead. Children don’t deserve such a terrible burden.
Laurie lights up a room with and endless smile and a radiant personality. She enjoys life to it’s fullest. Eager to learn, Laurie strives to do her best. Laurie’s deep marble blue eyes sparkle as she dances around with endless energy.
Dalton is a Clevelander. Our first conversation was about the Indian’s trading C.C. and debating if Grady should bat lower in the line-up. Dalton is a wisecracking knucklehead with strong skills in building friendships with kids and adults. Dalton is “all boy” and because he is “all boy” he is familiar with my office.
I knew our staff would respond. Regrettably, we are experienced in helping children who lose a parent. We attend the calling hours and staff members represent us at the funeral. The counselor prepares. We connect to outside agencies. Our students and families are informed. The Royal Manor staff truly leads with their hearts.
I knew what Dalton would do. He would hide his emotions with humor and silliness. He would shield his hurting heart with wisecracks and clowning. I knew what he would do because it is exactly what I would do. Humor is great mask to hide the sadness.
Laurie has her teachers and her grandma to help her through her loss. Dalton has his teacher and grandmother to help him, but a boy needs his dad in times of sorrow. Dalton’s caring and thoughtful dad was in Cleveland. Dalton and Laurie heard me say a number of times that my job is to be the “Dad” of our school.
Dalton is caring and sensitive kid. On his mom’s casket was a framed poem written for “Mommy” by Dalton. I read the poem walked directly into the parking lot shielding my eyes from Dalton and Laurie. Their principal was crying because their “Mommy” was no longer with us.
As a Dad, you recognize feeling then you give your kid something to focus on to get them through a tough time. It became clear to me that Dalton needed someone to teach and Dalton needed someone to teach him. Dalton needs Lucas and Lucas needs Dalton. I would ask Dalton to tutor a second grade student.
Lucas is a twin and is highly verbal, very active, and silly. Just like little boys should be. Lucas’s greatest strengths are resilience and determination. Character he developed through battling cancer as a first grade student. Lucas looked death in the eye and death flinched.
I shared my plan with Dalton. “Dalton, I need you to help me.” I got this knucklehead second grader who needs to learn from you.” He needs to learn how to have fun and still follow the rules.” Nothing better than a “knucklehead” teaching a “knucklehead”! I also explained to Dalton that Lucas overcame cancer.
Their comes a time in teaching when the student becomes a teacher. After school, I asked Dalton if he would tutor Lucas. Dalton looked me square in the eye, like a Clevelander, and said, “I would like to help… I think I could learn from him and he could learn from me.” Dalton recognized that Lucas could teach him to be resilient.
Dalton let down is humor shield and let his heart connect to helping and being helped. A sensitive boy taught me that students listen with their hearts more than they listen with their brains. Dalton and Laurie will be okay because they know love and how to help one another.
Love does not disappoint.
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